Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I can't even write what I want too...

I've had a really lousy couple of weeks concerning someone I thought was my friend. What I've learned though is that this person is not a friend, b/c friends don't treat each other like I've been treated. I'm so mad today at the end result. I'm hurt from someone that I really respected that fully "supported" me until it came down to making a decision. I feel that I've been railroaded by other staff members and I don't know what to do.

I want to be mad. I want to be upset. I want to say bad things about these people that have said horrible things about me lately. Yet, I can't bring myself to actually doing it. I want to get revenge. I want them to leave and go away and never come back. Again, I can't bring myself to say this to anyone. I honestly don't even really feel it. Yes, I'm mad at what's happened. Yes, I wish that our friendship didn't have to be over. Things will never be the same. I know I'm being vague, but names don't matter. Detailed circumstances don't matter. What matters is how I choose to handle myself. I refuse to stoop down to their level. I want to choose the higher road that everyone is telling me to choose. And I probably's not in my nature to really be mean to someone. I'll kill them with my kindness. Even if they don't apologize I have to forgive. I love what I do and I'm not going to let them ruin it for me, but I also won't be railroaded again. I don't think that's the right thing to do either. So tonight this is my prayer:

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; Romans 8:26


Katy Hill said...

Sorry you are having a rough time. Dealing with drama is no fun! Hope it all works out okay.

Jennifer Cawyer said...

I am so sorry that you are having so much trouble. I have been there. I hope that you will be healed really soon. I sometimes like to say or hurt the people that have hurt you, but God does not want us to get revenge. It take a lot of courage not to tell the person or people that have hurt you how you feel. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that everthing works out for the best. I am here if you need me or need someone to talk to.

Amanda H. said...

Proverbs 25:21-22
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,and the LORD will reward you.

Kindness can go a long way towards diffusing situations, and in some ways can be the best kind of revenge. This small section of Proverbs talks about how giving your enemy food or water when they're hungry or thirsty is the same as "heaping burning coals" on their head. (